Bob Thrush, a celebrated singer,

[Bassim]

Have I made any mistakes?

Bob Thrush, a celebrated singer, is known for personally replying to his fans' letters. The majority of them were women, who often proposed to marry him. Bob didn't have the heart to reject them straight away or ignore them, and wrote that although he was popular as a singer, privately he was shy and boring and didn't have much interest in other things beside singing. His friends asked him why he bothered at all with replying, and Bob told them that whenever he got such a letter, he saw a woman in his mind eye, hunched over a piece of paper, penning her letter, her heart beating with love and hope. "I couldn't just ignore them," Bob had said. "After all, they are my fans and they deserve something to remember and talk about.

 

[Tarheel]

Have I made any mistakes?

Bob Thrush, a celebrated singer, was known for personally replying to his fans' letters. The majority of them were women, who often proposed marriage to him. Bob didn't have the heart to reject them straight away or ignore them, and wrote that although he was popular as a singer, privately he was shy and boring and didn't have much interest in other things besides singing. His friends asked him why he bothered at all with replying, and Bob told them that whenever he got such a letter, he saw a woman in his mind's eye, hunched over a piece of paper, penning her letter, her heart beating with love and hope. "I couldn't just ignore them," Bob [STRIKE]had[/STRIKE] said. "After all, they are my fans and they deserve something to remember and talk about."

Not many errors in this one, but the first sentence is in the present tense and the second sentence in the past tense (in the original).

 

[teechar]

I think Tarheel meant to write "propose marriage to him". You can also simply write "proposed to him".

 

[Tdol]

You're missing " at the end.