Amend my short passage, please

[Look down on]

Amend my short passage, please.

The fact that she holds a menial job doesn't give you the right to treat her as a subordiante. By doing so, you're displaying a contemptible behavior and lack of manners that are frowned upon in our community.

 

[GoesStation]

"Behavior" is not countable in this usage. Do you know what change you need to make that will take that into account?

 

[teechar]

[STRIKE]Amend my[/STRIKE] Can someone check the following short text [STRIKE]passage,[/STRIKE] please?

The fact she holds a [STRIKE]menial[/STRIKE] low-skilled job doesn't give you the right to treat her as inferior. [STRIKE]a subordiante.[/STRIKE] By doing so, you're displaying contemptible behavior and a lack of manners that are frowned upon in our community.

By the way, note the correct spelling of "subordinate".

 

[Tarheel]

menial

menial adj.

(of work) not requiring much skill and lacking prestige.
(Oxford)

I don't know why teechar dislikes menial there. As for me, I might say:

Just because she has a menial job that's no reason to mistreat her.

(I have found a thread title for you.)

 

[teechar]

Re: menial

menial adj.

(of work) not requiring much skill and lacking prestige.
(Oxford)

I don't know why teechar dislikes menial there.

It has a negative connotation, so I think it would detract from the point the OP is trying to make.

 

[Tarheel]

Re: menial

It has a negative connotation, so I think it would detract from the point the OP is trying to make.

I think that word should be retained precisely because of possible negative connotations. In my humble opinion, it makes the point better. In other words, even though she holds a menial job she deserves to be treated with respect because she's a human being.

(The phrase "the fact that" is a commonly used one. Nevertheless, if you'd just as soon not use it it's easy to do so.)

 

[Look down on]

"Behavior" is not countable in this usage. Do you know what change you need to make that will take that into account?

Teechar gave me the answer. I had to remove the indefinite article.