Amazon Halo

[I'm a Chubby Baby]

Hi, everyone. Please correct this text written by me. I feel the red part is very wordy.

With all? digital devices at their fingertips, people nowadays want to limit their screen time more than they wanted a decade ago. Noticing this change, Amazon has launched a screenless fitness band called Amazon Halo. For many people, this product is better than other fitness trackers which can only increase their screen time.

 

[emsr2d2]

Hi, everyone. Please correct this text written by me. I feel the red part is very wordy.

With [STRIKE]all?[/STRIKE] so many digital devices at their fingertips, people nowadays want to limit their screen time more than they wanted to/more than they did a decade ago. Noticing this change, Amazon has launched a screenless fitness band called Amazon Halo. For many people, this product is better than other fitness trackers [STRIKE]which can only[/STRIKE] because it won't/doesn't increase their screen time.

emsr2d2

 

[probus]

It would also be very idiomatic to say With all the digital devices... .

 

[Tdol]

more than a decade ago

 

[I'm a Chubby Baby]

more than a decade ago

Thanks. Like this?
People nowadays want to limit their screen time more than a decade ago.

 

[Tdol]

You could say more than they did.

 

[emsr2d2]

You could say more than they did.

As I suggested in post #2.

 

[Tdol]

Or used to.

 

[Tarheel]

Hmm, I hadn't heard of Amazon Halo before; I'll have to google it.

Welcome to the forum.
:hi:

 

[5jj]

Tarheel,

Marcotuck's post is hardly relevant to the language question in the thread, but I don't think the language needed correcting.