[Grammar] After entering her apartment, Beverly tried to make Kelly feel

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Nikitus

Senior Member
Joined
Oct 4, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Spanish
Home Country
Chile
Current Location
Chile
Hello.

Are the following sentences grammatically correct?

"After entering her apartment, Beverly tried to make Kelly feel comfortable, offering her coffee and cakes. Kelly only accepted the coffee and watched her watch permanently for long minutes. However, after ten minutes, and after two calls to Tim without answering the phone, Kelly decided to relax for a while before traveling to the city where she currently lived."

Thanks.
 
After entering her apartment, Beverly tried to make Kelly feel comfortable, offering her coffee and cakes. Kelly only [STRIKE]accepted[/STRIKE] took the coffee and kept looking at [STRIKE]watched[/STRIKE] her watch. [STRIKE]permanently for long minutes.[/STRIKE] However, after ten minutes, and after two calls to Tim which he didn't answer, [STRIKE]without answering the phone,[/STRIKE] Kelly decided to relax for a while before traveling to the city where she [STRIKE]currently[/STRIKE] lived then."
.
 
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