Bassim
VIP Member
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2008
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Bosnian
- Home Country
- Bosnia Herzegovina
- Current Location
- Sweden
Would you please correct the mistakes in the first part of my short story?
One evening during Advent, a couple walked the snow-covered streets of a town. Christmas lights twinkled across the streets, while decorated Christmas trees stood in their splendour at corners and in front of supermarkets and other buildings. The smells of roasted chestnuts, popcorn, sausages and hot wine wafted from the numerous stalls through the cold air.
“Isn’t it beautiful? “Maria said, pointing at the thousands of small lights in all kinds of forms and shapes glittering against the dark sky.
“Of course,” Steve said. “They are spending every year more on Christmas decorations but less on people in need.”
“Don’t be so sour, people need some joy now when it is so dark.”
“I don’t disagree with that; only life for us ordinary people is getting worse, while the rich are only getting richer.”
“I don’t think they’re luckier than we are,” she said.
“They’re not, but I wouldn’t mind sharing some of their wealth with me.”
Maria shrugged her shoulders as a reply, and they walked on in silence away from the centre. To any passerby, they looked like ordinary middle aged-couple.
They began working immediately after they finished school and had never lived on welfare. Maria was a care worker and Steve a caretaker in a secondary school. Their children had left home and started their own families, and Maria and her husband had an uneventful life in their house, which they bought more than twenty-five years ago. Modest in their aspirations and goals, they lived within their means. They seldom went to restaurants, and usually spent weekends at home, watching TV and playing board and card games. As for their hobbies, Steve liked to thinker about his car and he would also help his friend with theirs. He had a passion for sport cars and he never missed a F1 race on TV. Maria did needlepoint and embroidery, which she proudly displayed on the walls and furniture all over their home. Their lives didn’t differ greatly from the existence of millions of other people who found happiness and satisfaction in their work and living.
As they walked towards a wealthy suburb, the silence became palpable. The only sound they heard were their boots crunching the snow. The expensive homes with Christmas decoration looked fabulous. Their owners seemed to compete with each other in extravagance of decorations. Some must have cost a fortune, and Maria and Steve looked around in excitement, their minds giddy with impressions. Suddenly, they saw a light coming towards them. As it came nearer, it turned out to be Father Christmas with an aureole of light around his whole body. Yellow, blue, red and green blended into each other like a liquid and pulsated as if they were living organisms. Maria and Steve stopped in their tracks and gaped at him. With his white bushy beard, thick moustache, long red gown, and a large sack on his back he seemed to be real.
TO BE CONTINUED
One evening during Advent, a couple walked the snow-covered streets of a town. Christmas lights twinkled across the streets, while decorated Christmas trees stood in their splendour at corners and in front of supermarkets and other buildings. The smells of roasted chestnuts, popcorn, sausages and hot wine wafted from the numerous stalls through the cold air.
“Isn’t it beautiful? “Maria said, pointing at the thousands of small lights in all kinds of forms and shapes glittering against the dark sky.
“Of course,” Steve said. “They are spending every year more on Christmas decorations but less on people in need.”
“Don’t be so sour, people need some joy now when it is so dark.”
“I don’t disagree with that; only life for us ordinary people is getting worse, while the rich are only getting richer.”
“I don’t think they’re luckier than we are,” she said.
“They’re not, but I wouldn’t mind sharing some of their wealth with me.”
Maria shrugged her shoulders as a reply, and they walked on in silence away from the centre. To any passerby, they looked like ordinary middle aged-couple.
They began working immediately after they finished school and had never lived on welfare. Maria was a care worker and Steve a caretaker in a secondary school. Their children had left home and started their own families, and Maria and her husband had an uneventful life in their house, which they bought more than twenty-five years ago. Modest in their aspirations and goals, they lived within their means. They seldom went to restaurants, and usually spent weekends at home, watching TV and playing board and card games. As for their hobbies, Steve liked to thinker about his car and he would also help his friend with theirs. He had a passion for sport cars and he never missed a F1 race on TV. Maria did needlepoint and embroidery, which she proudly displayed on the walls and furniture all over their home. Their lives didn’t differ greatly from the existence of millions of other people who found happiness and satisfaction in their work and living.
As they walked towards a wealthy suburb, the silence became palpable. The only sound they heard were their boots crunching the snow. The expensive homes with Christmas decoration looked fabulous. Their owners seemed to compete with each other in extravagance of decorations. Some must have cost a fortune, and Maria and Steve looked around in excitement, their minds giddy with impressions. Suddenly, they saw a light coming towards them. As it came nearer, it turned out to be Father Christmas with an aureole of light around his whole body. Yellow, blue, red and green blended into each other like a liquid and pulsated as if they were living organisms. Maria and Steve stopped in their tracks and gaped at him. With his white bushy beard, thick moustache, long red gown, and a large sack on his back he seemed to be real.
TO BE CONTINUED
