[Essay] Abstract for research paper

[imgaboy]

Hi there,

I have to create an abstract for my research. I have been finished a part of this.
Could somebody help me to check my abstract?


Here is my document:


In this paper, we present a data mining approach with classification models that bases its predictions on students’ clickstream data generated by an E-learning platform. Data were created throughout 1370 occasions. In this paper, our goal was to predict course outcomes with binary classification. For these, we used a data from short MOOC course which was influenced by teacher and school.During the evaluation process of our solutions, we found out that our algorithm can provide results with an accuracy of (ACC) 70%-80% with a precision of .77-.88, F1 .78-.88, TPR .79-.95. This success rate confirms that we could forecast students’ outcomes from click attitudes.

 

[Raymott]

In this paper, we present a data mining approach with classification models that bases its predictions on students’ clickstream data generated by an e-learning(?) platform. Data were created throughout 1370 occasions. In this paper, our goal was to predict course outcomes with binary classification. For these, we used [STRIKE] a [/STRIKE]data from a short MOOC course which was influenced by the teacher and school. During the evaluation process of our solutions, we found[STRIKE] out[/STRIKE] that our algorithm [STRIKE]can[/STRIKE] provided results with an accuracy of (ACC) 70%-80% with a precision of 0.77-0.88, F1 .78-.88, TPR .79-.95. This success rate confirms that we could forecast students’ outcomes from click attitudes.

That's close.
In most scientific and maths papers that I've read, a zero is placed before a decimal number. But you can decide on that, depending on the style of the journal you intend to publish in.
'The' carries over to 'school'.
I'm not sure that you're supposed to claim that your algorithm can do something generally. Don't you just report what your experiment found, ie. out algorithm provided results ... not that it can provide results. That doesn't sound natural.
'Confirms'. Is this a study that confirms a previous one. If not, I don't think it's a confirmatory study. "The success rate shows that we were able to forecast students' outcomes ..."

The English is fine. I'm not a research scientist, so you should check your local journals to compare the wording of the possible corrections I've made.

 

[emsr2d2]

Hi there,

I have to create an abstract for my research. I have [STRIKE]been[/STRIKE] finished a part of [STRIKE]this[/STRIKE] it.
Could somebody help me [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] by checking [STRIKE]my abstract[/STRIKE] it?

Note my changes above.