[General] A women who I recently chatted with(94 words)

[Silverobama]

A woman X who I recently chatted with online played with me and trampled my love. She's someone who I knew from another woman I met in my English club. I tried to date X many times and she agreed at each but finally found some excuses to put me off. And the last excuse she cooked up for the date on her birthday dinner between she and me was "something very urgent happened to my family, and I need to go home". But when I asked what exactly happened, she didn't say anything.

The above paragraph was written by me from my recent experience of meeting a woman X and finally I realized I was fooled by her. Would you please help me with the editing or make it a natural and coherent paragraph. I wrote it down because I want to improve my writing skills.

I met this X online because she has a friend who I met in person in my English club. I gradually loved X after chatting with each other for 20 days but I finally found that she just played with me and didn't want to date me at all. However, she accepted my dates and promised to come, but each time before a date she said she had something to do.

 

[emsr2d2]

A woman, X, who I recently chatted with online, played with me and trampled on my love. [STRIKE]She's someone who[/STRIKE] I knew her [STRIKE]from[/STRIKE] through another woman I met [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] at my English club. I [STRIKE]tried to[/STRIKE] asked her out on a date [STRIKE]X[/STRIKE] many times and each time she agreed [STRIKE]at each[/STRIKE] but [STRIKE]finally[/STRIKE] then found some excuse [STRIKE]s to put me off[/STRIKE] to cancel. [STRIKE]And[/STRIKE] The last excuse she cooked up, for [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] a dinner date on her birthday, [STRIKE]dinner between she and me[/STRIKE] was "Something very urgent has happened to my family no comma here and I need to go home", but when I asked her what exactly happened, she didn't [STRIKE]say anything[/STRIKE] reply.

The above paragraph was written by me from my recent experience of meeting a woman, X, and finally [STRIKE]I[/STRIKE] realizing I [STRIKE]was[/STRIKE] had been fooled by her. Would you please help me [STRIKE]with the[/STRIKE] by editing it or [by] making it a natural and coherent paragraph. I wrote it [strike]down[/strike] because I want to improve my writing skills.

I met [STRIKE]this[/STRIKE] X online because she has a friend who I met in person [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] at my English club. I gradually [STRIKE]loved[/STRIKE] fell in love with X after chatting with each other for 20 days but I finally found that she had just [STRIKE]played[/STRIKE] been playing/toying with me and didn't want to date me at all. However, she accepted all my [STRIKE]dates[/STRIKE] offers of a date and promised to come, but [STRIKE]each time before a date she[/STRIKE] later said she had something else/better to do.

See above.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

It's not natural to replace people's names with letters or numbers.

Instead of "A woman X I recently chatted with," just say "a woman I recently chatted with." Afterwards, you can usually just use "she" and "her".

If using a name is necessary, here are some common and natural ways to do it:

- A woman I chatted with, "Lisa," . . . .

- A woman I chatted with recently—I'll call her Lisa— . . . .

- A woman I chatted with recently, Lisa (not her real name), . . . .

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

And remember that many English speakers prefer "A woman whom I recently chatted with" (though fewer every day).

 

[Silverobama]

I appreciate your help and kindness, emsr2d2. Happy belated holidays and A belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you!

 

[Tarheel]

Two things, Silver. One, say between us, NOT between she and me. Two, pay careful attention to the corrections in post #2.

 

[Silverobama]

Two, pay careful attention to the corrections in post #2.

Do you meant some of emsr2d2's corrections are wrong? I think you meant "The corrections are perfect so you need to be careful and learn".

 

[Rover_KE]

Silver, I seem to remember that you favour British English, in which case you should write 'realised'.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[Silverobama]

Silver, I seem to remember that you favour British English, in which case you should write 'realised'.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

Both American English and British English are my favorite subjects, actually. But I communicate with more BE speakers than AE here, so I want to know the BE versions of many of my sentences and paragraphs.

You're not wrong, Rover.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

PS — a clarification:

I said above that you can use A woman I chatted with, "Lisa," . . . .

If you do it that way, only put quotes around her name the first time you use it. After that, just say Lisa.

 

[Tarheel]

Do you meant some of emsr2d2's corrections are wrong? I think you meant "The corrections are perfect so you need to be careful and learn".

"Pay careful attention" does not mean some of the corrections are wrong. It means I hope you will learn from them.

I suggest that you read that post at least two more times. Then take notes. Then read it again a time or two.

The more you learn the fewer mistakes you will make, and my colleague will have to make fewer corrections.

 

[emsr2d2]

PS — a clarification:

I said above that you can use A woman I chatted with, "Lisa," . . . .

If you do it that way, only put quotes around her name the first time you use it. After that, just say Lisa.

There is no need to put quotation marks around someone's name.

 

[Tarheel]

Do you mean that some of emsr2d2's corrections are wrong?

Unlike me, she is never wrong.
;-)

 

[Yankee]

And remember that many English speakers prefer "A woman whom I recently chatted with" (though fewer every day).

Well, I'm one of the "few" and to take it a step farther I prefer, "A woman with whom I recently chatted.....".

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Well, I'm one of the "few" and to take it a step farther I prefer, "A woman with whom I recently chatted.....".

Because a dangling preposition is something up with which you will not put!

 

[Tarheel]

How about:

A woman I talked to recently ....

 

[Yankee]

Because a dangling preposition is something up with which you will not put!

My one exception. ;-)