[Grammar] A topic of an essay and your correction please

[Ever Student]

What famous place would you like to visit?

The famous place that I would like to visit is the Pyramids, one of the seven ancient wonders and monuments. And there are two reasons why I would prefer to visit there.

The first reason is that I can learn about a different culture from the ancient people of Cairo and Egypt. The Pyramids, for example, indicates how wonderfully the people in the past built these huge pyramids with rudimentary tools and their low knowledge.

Another reason why I would like to visit there is the comparison of ancient and modern cultures. For instance, with comparing a special funeral ceremony for the kings by the people of thousands years ago and the people of today for their heads in Cairo and Egypt, I can simply feel the huge changes of ancient culture and modern culture.

Visiting different famous places makes us to learn a lot about there and learn how the cultures have changed in the long period of life of the world.

 

[Ever Student]

Would you please edit my essay?

 

[februar]

What famous place would you like to visit?

The famous place that I would like to visit is Egypt and its three pyramids and monuments. The biggest pyramid, called Great Pyramid of Giza is well-known as one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. And there are two reasons why I would prefer to go there.

The first reason is that I can learn about a different culture from the ancient people of Cairo and Egypt. The pyramids, for example, indicate how wonderfully the people in the past built these huge pyramids despite their rudimentary tools and low knowledge.

Another reason why I would like to go there is to get to know the comparison of ancient and modern cultures. For instance, through comparing the way people of thousands of years ago in Cairo and Egypt held the special funeral ceremony for their kings with the way people of today perform it for their heads. I can simply feel the huge changes of ancient culture and modern culture.

Visiting different famous places makes us possible to learn a lot about these regions and [STRIKE]learn[/STRIKE] how the cultures have changed in the long period of life of the world.

februar (no teacher)