[Essay] A tiny story - Food sharing (Lion, wolf and fox)

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I have translated a short story from Tamil magazines. Please check for any mistakes and make any necessary corrections and modifications.

Story - Food sharing (Lion, wolf and fox) - Part I


In a dense green jungle lion, wolf and fox, three live with the utmost solidarity. They were sharing their food whoever brought it. But the sharing shouldn’t hurt the lion’s mind which was as a law of lion. The food sharing was in line with their strength and catching abilities.

One day all three animals left their habitat in search of food. Within a few minutes the lion chase a deer and caught it. The fox caught a couple of wild fowl for his part. But, wolf couldn’t find anything. Wolf thought in mind and satisfied that he would get a share eventhough who can't catch any prey. Lion and fox dragged their prey and reached to the habitat. They caught more than what usually they expected.

Lion said to wolf “divide this prey.” But, wolf hesitates to divide as who hadn’t bring for his part, said his opinion to the lion.

Wolf! “ It is true that you couldn’t bring any prey. However, usually we could share and eat the food in regardless of whoever brought it. You have your share, isn’t it? Why are you hesitating? “ divide this prey” asked lion.

After hearing from lion, wolf thought that may be lion is instructing him to divide half of his share. Based on this, wolf has divided lion’s share into three. When lion saw that share got angry. A hungry lion raged over the wolf and kill it and ate it.
 
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Re: A Short Story - Food sharing (Lion, wolf and fox)

Say:

In a dense green jungle, a lion, a wolf and a fox lived together.

It should be a short story and not a tiny story.
 
Re: A Short Story - Food sharing (Lion, wolf and fox)

Say:

Any food that one of them caught was shared with the others.
 
Re: A Short Story - Food sharing (Lion, wolf and fox)

Perhaps:

Angry with the wolf, the lion killed it and ate it.
 
Re: A Short Story - Food sharing (Lion, wolf and fox)

The lion is always going to get the lion's share regardless.
 
Re: A Short Story - Food sharing (Lion, wolf and fox)

There is much that I won't be able to comment on, because I just don't understand it.

Next (second) paragraph). Say:

One day all three animals left the den in search of food.
 
Re: A Short Story - Food sharing (Lion, wolf and fox)

Say:

Within a few minutes the lion chased a deer and caught it.

(Of course, in real life a lion wouldn't catch anything that way.)
 
Re: A Short Story - Food sharing (Lion, wolf and fox)

Say:

The fox caught a couple of birds.

How does a fox carry two birds?
 
Re: A Short Story - Food sharing (Lion, wolf and fox)

Say:

But the wolf couldn't find anything. However, the wolf was satisfied that he would get his share no matter what.
 
Re: A Short Story - Food sharing (Lion, wolf and fox)

Say:

The lion and the fox took what they had caught to the den. They had, in fact, caught more than what they usually expected to catch.
 
Re: A Short Story - Food Sharing (Lion, Wolf and Fox)

Next paragraph. Now we are in uncharted territory.

The lion said to the wolf: "Divide this prey."
The wolf, neither having hands nor knowing what either "divide" or "prey" means, simply looked at the lion uncomprehendingly.
 
Re: A Short Story - Food Sharing (Lion, Wolf and Fox)

Next paragraph.

Lion: "It is true that we usually share the prey regardless of who brings it. So why are you hesitating? Divide this prey!"
The wolf only knows that it is hungry and confused. It responds the only way it knows how -- with a growl. It prepares itself for a fight. Knowing that its only chance will be to lunge at the lion's throat, it backs itself into a corner. It snarls a threat at the menacing lion.

I know that's not how it's supposed to go, but what do you expect the wolf to do?
 
Re: A Short Story - Food Sharing (Lion, Wolf and Fox)

The human animal is the only animal that can divide things. Humans have hands and are capable of using tools. They also understand the concept of sharing.
 
Re: A Short Story - Food sharing (Lion, wolf and fox)

Okay, I'm going to try to stick to the script. Let's try:

The lion said: "Divide the prey." But the wolf hesitated because he hadn't brought anything, and he explained that to the lion.
 
Re: A Short Story - Food sharing (Lion, wolf and fox)

Next paragraph.

The lion said: "Wolf, it is true that you didn't bring anything this time. However, we usually share and eat the food regardless of who brought it. You have your share, don't you? Why are you hesitating? Divide this prey!"
 
Re: A Short Story - Food sharing (Lion, wolf and fox)

Next paragraph. Perhaps:

Based on what the lion told him, the wolf divided the lion's share into three parts. When the lion saw that the lion got angry. The enraged lion killed the wolf and ate it.
 
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