A man

[chunchuntthn]

A man​

That married couple have just got married and are sleeping. The wife whispers to the husband: ”I am so cool”. The husband instantly pulls the blanket over his wife. The wife continues to say: “So hot”. The husband turns on the fan. The wife is angry, and says: “You don’t know me. At the moment, I need a man”. Her husband answers/replies “It is two am. I can’t find a man for you”.

Please give me some feedback.

 

[Tarheel]

Try:

A newlywed couple are on their honeymoon and in bed asleep.

If he's asleep she'll need to wake him up before she can speak to him.

Change instantly to immediately.

Try "I feel cold."

Replace continues with something. Take it out!

The wife is angry doesn't work.

The ending is clever.
:up:

 

[chunchuntthn]

A newlywed couple are on the bed in a resort. They are in their honeymoon. When they are about to sleep, the wife whispers to her husband: ”I feel cold”. The husband immediately pulls the blanket over his wife. The wife keeps saying: “So hot”. The husband takes it out and turns on the fan. The wife feels angry, and says: “You don’t know me. At the moment, I need a man”. Her husband answers/replies “It is two am. I can’t find a man for you”.

Please give me some feedback about my corrected version.

 

[Tarheel]

A newlywed couple are in bed in in a hotel at a resort. They are on their honeymoon. When they are about to sleep, the wife whispers to her husband: ”I feel cold”. The husband immediately pulls the blanket over his wife. The wife then says, "I'm hot!": . The husband takes the blanket off of her and turns on the fan. The wife feels angry, and says: “You don’t know me. At the moment, I need a man”. Her husband says “It is 2 AM. I can’t find a man for you”.

Hm. One minute she's cold. The next minute she's hot. (Menopause?) Then she moans that she needs a man, but she has a man right there with her. Strange.

 

[Tdol]

It's a text that is hard to follow.