Moharo
New member
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2020
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Russian
- Home Country
- Russian Federation
- Current Location
- Russian Federation
[FONT="]Hello, I'm trying to write a short story in order to practice my English but I'm not sure if my descriptive sequences sound natural. This is one of them:
"A man stood alone next to the window. The view of his back was tall and straight but lonely, just like a lone eagle at night. The man’s exposed upper body looked like Michelangelo’s David. His chest and abdomen were taut and full of muscles. His imposing build allowed others to easily guess the power he possessed. His eyes were hawk-like, and they seemed to be almost completely swallowed by hatred."
[/FONT][FONT="]I would appreaciate any comments or suggestions on how I can improve and make my writing more concise and fluent.
Thank you
[/FONT]
"A man stood alone next to the window. The view of his back was tall and straight but lonely, just like a lone eagle at night. The man’s exposed upper body looked like Michelangelo’s David. His chest and abdomen were taut and full of muscles. His imposing build allowed others to easily guess the power he possessed. His eyes were hawk-like, and they seemed to be almost completely swallowed by hatred."
[/FONT][FONT="]I would appreaciate any comments or suggestions on how I can improve and make my writing more concise and fluent.
Thank you
[/FONT]