A great number of NFL players suffer from brain and spinal cord injuries which were sustained when playing football for their teams.

[hardyweineberg]

A great number of NFL players suffer from brain and spinal cord injuries which were sustained when playing football for their teams.​

1.) Do I need to put a comma before "which" ?

2.) Is it grammatical to use "when" or should I have used "while" ?

 

[probus]

1. No.

2. There is little to choose between "when" and "while", but to me the whole sentence is a bit clunky. Why not put a period (full stop) after "injuries". It's obvious they didn't get their injuries while strolling to the corner store to buy a newspaper.

 

[tedmc]

I would omit "which were" and "for their teams".

 

[emsr2d2]

@hardyweineberg - Please note that your two most recent posts in this thread have been deleted by a moderator. There is no need to write a new post to thank anyone. Simply click on the "Thank" button (found by hovering your cursor over the "Like" icon) on any post you find helpful. It saves time and space for everyone.