a feeling left a person's eyes

[alpacinou]

Is it correct to say a feeling left a person's eyes?

Are these correct and natural?

1. He returned home after 4 months. He could tell Becca no longer cared about him. The passion had left her eyes.

2. John was sure. Doubt had left his eyes. He wanted to propose to her.

3. She saw Jane for the first time since her divorce. Sorrow had left her eyes. She was more energetic and cheerful.

4. She was screaming as the wolves approached. Then a realization dawned on her. Fear left her eyes.

5. I bought her flowers and tried to placate her. Anger left her eyes.

 

[emsr2d2]

As they stand, no. You need to have mentioned that the emotion in question had been reflected in the person's eyes (note that not all emotions can be seen in a person's eyes).

 

[alpacinou]

As they stand, no. You need to have mentioned that the emotion in question had been reflected in the person's eyes (note that not all emotions can be seen in a person's eyes).

In number 1, it is implied that there was passion in her eyes before he left her.

How can I fix them? What would you add to them?

 

[Tarheel]

The first one works for me. However, none of the others do. For the fifth one, perhaps:

I gave her flowers and talked softly to her. The anger gradually left her.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Is it correct to say a feeling left a person's eyes?

Are these correct and natural?

1. He returned home after four months. He could tell Becca no longer cared for him. The passion had left her eyes.

Fine.

2. John was sure. Doubt had left his eyes. He wanted to propose to her.

This would only work if you're telling the story from Becca's point of view. John can't see anything in his own eyes.

3. She saw Jane for the first time since her divorce. Sorrow had left her eyes. She was more energetic and cheerful.

Fine.

4. She was screaming as the wolves approached. Then a realization dawned on her. Fear left her eyes.

Like #2, this only works if you're describing her from someone else's point of view.

5. I bought her flowers and tried to placate her. The anger left her eyes.

Fine as fixed.

cb

 

[Tarheel]

I have decided I agree with Charlie on number three. However, for number five you said:

I bought her flowers and tried to placate her. (She wasn't placated.)

If I have accomplished something, if I have done something I don't say I tried to do it. I say I did it. . So I like my version better for that one. (Post #4.)

Also, a person does not show emotion just in the eyes. It's in the whole face--the whole body even.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

I have decided I agree with Charlie on number three. However, for number five you said:

I bought her flowers and tried to placate her. (She wasn't placated.)

If I have accomplished something, if I have done something I don't say I tried to do it. I say I did it. . So I like my version better for that one. (Post #4.)

Also, a person does not show emotion just in the eyes. It's in the whole face--the whole body even.

Absolutely right. I missed that completely. Al, you bought her flowers to placate her — not to try to placate her!