A case of a gross breach of contract

[Glizdka]

I was roleplaying a dissatisfied customer/client (which would better describe me in this exercise?). The purpose is to experiment with constructions I'm not sure about.
Have I made any mistakes?

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Dear Manager of Customer Service,

I have finally contacted the HQ of Verybad Co. (after 30 days of waiting for a reply), and they directed me to you. What we are dealing with is a case of a gross breach of contract. What I have received in the delivery from your company is not what I ordered and have paid for.

When unpacking the freight, behind a layer of Sound Absorbtion Mat AB-12, we discovered what I can only deduce to be production waste (see the pictures attached) stealthily disguised as the rest of the product we had paid for.

I politely ask you to return the amount of money we paid you, and remove the garbage you sent us at your cost. If you do not respond withing fourteen days, I will be compelled to resort to legal means.

Impatiently looking forward to hearing from you,
Dissatisfied Customer

 

[tedmc]

The correct spelling is sound-absorption.
But I think what you mean is the anti-impact mat for packing use.

 

[Glizdka]

The correct spelling is sound-absorption.
But I think what you mean is the anti-impact mat for packing use.

No, I mean that the cargo was packed in such a way that it could conceal garbage behind a wall of carefully attached units of the product I ordered ("Sound Absorbtion Mat AB-12" as cited from the invoice I've received from the company).

 

[teechar]

Dear Manager of Customer Service,

I have finally contacted the HQ of Verybad Co. (after 30 days of waiting for a reply), [ What does that mean?] and they directed me to you. [STRIKE]What we are dealing with is[/STRIKE] I am writing to you about a clear case of gross breach of contract. What I have received [STRIKE]in the delivery[/STRIKE] from your company is not what I ordered and [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] paid for.

When unpacking the parcel,

I stopped here because I could not understand what you're talking about. If this is just practice, why are you complicating it?

 

[Glizdka]

Practising construction of sentences which use the constructions I'm unfamiliar with is my way of learning. I know how to use basic vocabulary and grammar (I hope), so this is why I purposely complicate what I write. This is not how I normally speak, and this is definitely not what I would've sent to Manager of Customer Service if I were Dissatisfied Customer.

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Is this any better:


Dear Manager of Customer Service,

I had been waiting for a reply from the HQ of Verybad Co. for 30 days, and now that I finally received it, it directed me to you. I am writing to you about a clear case of gross breach of contract. What I have received from your company is not what I had ordered and paid for.

When unpacking the cargo, we discovered what I can only deduce is production waste (see the pictures attached) stealthily disguised as the product I had paid for (Sound Absorbtion Mat AB-12, as cited from the invoice I have received from your company), and concealed behind a wall made out of units of the product that had been carefully attached to one another.

I hope that the garbage you sent was a mistake, and not an inept attempt to deceive me. I politely ask you to remove the garbage you have sent, and return the amount of money I paid in invoice AB-12. If you do not reply within 14 days, I will be compelled to resort to legal means.

Impatiently looking forward to hearing from you,



Dissatidfied Customer

 

[teechar]

Practising [Strike]construction of[/Strike] writing sentences which use [Strike]the[/Strike] constructions I'm unfamiliar with is my way of learning. I know how to use basic vocabulary and grammar (I hope), so this is why I purposely complicate what I write. This is not how I normally speak, and this is definitely not what I would've sent to the Manager of Customer Service if I were Dissatisfied Customer.
Is this any better?

Dear Manager of Customer Service,

I had been waiting for a reply from [Strike]the HQ of[/Strike] Verybad [Strike]Co.[/Strike] for 30 days, and now that I finally received it, [Strike]it directed[/Strike] I note that it asks me to contact you.

I am writing to you about a clear case of gross breach of contract. What I have received from your company is not what I had ordered and paid for.

[Strike]When[/Strike] After unpacking the parcel, [Strike]cargo, we[/Strike] I discovered what I can only deduce is production waste (see the pictures attached) stealthily disguised as the product I had paid for (Sound Absorbtion Mat AB-12, as cited from the invoice I have received from your company), and concealed behind a wall made out of units of the product that had been carefully attached to one another.

I hope that [Strike]the garbage you sent[/Strike] was an unintended mistake, and not an [Strike]inept[/Strike] attempt to deceive me. I politely ask you to [Strike]remove[/Strike] take back [Strike]the garbage[/Strike] what you have sent, and return the full amount of money I paid [Strike]in[/Strike] as per invoice AB-12. If you do not reply within 14 days, I will be compelled to [Strike]resort[/Strike] to initiate legal action. [Strike]means.[/Strike]

[Strike]Impatiently looking forward to hearing from you,[/Strike]
I await your prompt reply.

Dissatidfied Customer

I don't understand the underlined part.

 

[Glizdka]

Re: A case of gross breach of contract

I don't understand the underlined part.

Thank you for your corrections. I have made a drawing that should illustrate what i meant in the underlined part.
Suppose the mats I ordered were rolled into cylinders, and used to create a wall in the way shown bellow. From the outside, the wall convincingly looked like what I would expect the whole truckload to look like.

 

[teechar]

and concealed behind [STRIKE]a wall made out of[/STRIKE] units of the product that had been carefully attached to one another.

Try that. I still find it weird. Why would anyone go to that trouble to cheat on such a small portion?!

 

[Glizdka]

Try that. I still find it weird. Why would anyone go to that trouble to cheat on such a small portion?!

Thank you again. The sole purpose was to try to expain a peculiar and preposterous situation (I don't think it's ever happened), this is why it is so weird. I especially wanted to know if I could use: 'stealthily disguised', 'concealed behind', and 'I can only deduce (be)'.

The volume of the trash that can be hidden inside this monstrocity is proportionally bigger to the area required for the construction of the wall if we increase the perimeter. I think this could actually be reasonable on a bigger scale.

 

[teechar]

I see.