[Essay] a bot factory

[rodgers white]

Hi everyone, are there any mistakes in this piece of writing? This is just writing practice, not an assignment or anything like that. I'm grateful for any contribution.


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Designing a minibot factory was quite complex, the harder part, though, was building the tools with which to build the factory. Whilst throwing away bad idea after bad idea, Rui discovered that after a certain point, the smaller you made a machine, the more like a living thing it needed to be. The Shan Gu De Ren’s knowledge of biology was not very detailed when it came to the microscopic aspects of life, so he had to discover most of those things for himself. Rui returned to studying biology, and in particular, the function of cells. Eventually, he designed a factory that instead of creating something the host needed, produced minibots. If one could imagine a giant amoeba that produced cars, then one could imagine Rui's bot factory.

 

[teechar]

Whilst throwing away bad idea after bad idea

I would write:
After discarding several bad ideas,

The Shan Gu De Ren’s knowledge of biology

What does that mean?

 

[rodgers white]

I would write:After discarding several bad ideas, What does that mean?

Thank you for your time, teechar. Yang came from a very ancient race called Shan Gu De Ren. So Rui tried to learn biology from the knowledge of Shan Gu De Ren.

 

[Tarheel]

It seems that you are writing a science fiction book or are planning to.

 

[teechar]

I see.

 

[jutfrank]

Designing a minibot factory was quite complex, the harder part, though, was building the tools with which to build the factory.

You've incorrectly spliced two sentences into one here.

 

[rodgers white]

You've incorrectly spliced two sentences into one here.

Can you elaborate it a bit? Thank you.

 

[Tarheel]

Hi everyone, are there any mistakes in this piece of writing? This is just writing practice, not an assignment or anything like that. I'm grateful for any contribution.


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Designing a minibot factory was quite complex. The harder part, though, was building the tools with which to build the factory.

The part in bold and red is where I fixed the comma splice.