A 19-year-old’s request

[Gaya87]

Hi there, I really appreciate if someone please proofread my writing below. Thank you.

Short summary
Today, a 19-year-old’s request for death is granted. As the folklore says, you need to be prepared for the worst after a visit by Devil.

Long summary
Flora’s announcement for a death wish in her social media worries her friends, who later invite her for a gathering beside Jakarta’s Ciliwung River to cheer her up. She, however, later gets Devil as a visitor, who happily grants her death wish.

 

[tedmc]

The sentences are fine but I am not sure about your personification of Devil.

 

[GoesStation]

Devil isn't usually a name but rather a sort of a title. Therefore, you would normally refer to that character as the devil. You can capitalize it as the Devil for dramatic effect.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

Today a 19-year-old's request for death was granted.

 

[Gaya87]

The sentences are fine but I am not sure about your personification of Devil.

Thanks for your feedback. Basically, I'm referring to the ghost. Like a ghost hunt..

 

[Gaya87]

Noted with thanks. For long summary, shall I say:

However, she later gets devil as a visitor, who happily grants her death wish.

 

[GoesStation]

She could get the devil (or "Devil") as a visitor. Devil is not normally a character's name; if it is in this case, then its first letter has to be capitalized.

 

[tedmc]

I think "the Devil" sounds better than "Devil" without the article.